Still Got Some Songs In The Walls

It’s been quite awhile since I have been over to the Renwick House to get any real work done over there, and even longer since I have written a blog post, so as I am sitting here this morning, waiting for my tea to steep and provide me with the kick in the arse I need to head over to the house, I decided to throw some thoughts down on digital paper.

Although my world is always hectic with regular life stuff, the house is never far from my thoughts, and it has a way of reminding me about it even when I am not there.

I was busy preparing inventory for a Comic Con that was held in Binghamton, NY on the weekend of May 14-15. With all that we have been through over the past couple of years, I was so excited to get back to some kind of “normal” and this was my first Comic Con back as a vendor since the creeping crud hit and changed all of our lives in one way or another.

The weekend did not disappoint. Not only did I have a fantastic time at the con, but I had the added bonus of being able to see an old friend from Northern Ireland, who I hadn’t seen in 11 years. My buddy, Lee Rogers, was one of the opening acts, along with Gareth Dunlop, for Foy Vance’s Signs of LIfe Tour, and they happened to be playing in Homer, NY on May 14th.

To be totally honest, I was going to the concert no matter what, and the Comic Con being right down the I-81 was the actual bonus. After the con on Saturday, I rushed back to my motel room, cleaned up a bit and headed north to the Center for the Arts in Homer. It is an old church that has been turned into an amazing place for art shows, concerts, events, classes, the list goes on. If you are ever afforded the opportunity to visit, do it, you won’t be sorry.

I’m a balcony kinda girl. While the front row is great, I’d much rather be in the front row upstairs, where I can sit back and really take it all in. As I waited for the concert to begin, and made new friends in the seats next to me, I thought about the house and how I hoped I would be able to repurpose it as they had done with this place, on a much smaller scale of course. I looked in awe at the stained glass windows of this old Baptist Church, and I could picture it in the past, and then looked out over the crowd and my heart overflowed with happiness that the old building was still filled with so much life and love.

The concert was fantastic, and afterwards, I got to see Lee, which was wonderful. As I walked up to him, he was chatting with a couple, and I didn’t want to interrupt, but Lee grabbed me and said, “You’re not going to believe it! This guy is from Belfast!”

“Really?” I said, “I’m from Belfast too!” and after the strange look as to why I have no accent at all, I added, “Belfast, New York!”

Now I don’t remember the man from Belfast’s name, if it was even ever told to me, because I can’t remember what I did five minutes ago, but what happened next amazed me and is something I will never forget. He went on to say, “I’ve BEEN in Belfast, NY! I stopped to take a picture of the sign. There is like a crossroads or something, and there’s a big dilapidated old house right there. “

My house. My beautiful nightmare at the sharp turn in the road. What are the chances of being over 2 hours from home, talking to a guy who is across an ocean from his home, who had not only been to my little town, but out of the blue mentions MY HOUSE?

I stood there breathless, while Lee about knocked me over hitting me in the arm saying “No fooking way!”, in excitement. The conversation went on about how I needed to build a stage there so Lee could come back and do a concert. Yes, future plans. A small concert, but how amazing it would be to have friends gathered in the parlor there and Lee strumming his guitar and singing, filling the house with life and love.

I rose Sunday morning with a smile on my face after a much needed break from everything and a good talk with my old friend. Sometimes you need a chat with someone who knew you when you were a different person to remind you of how far you have come in your journey.

Then the world got ugly. I hadn’t seen the news, or even checked my Facebook feed. I had no idea that 10 people were killed simply because of the color of their skin back in Buffalo, a city I once called home and where I still have many friends.

As an empath, when things that are going on in the world get too heavy, I tend to retreat to the safety of my shell. It’s hard enough for me to deal with my own emotions sometimes, let a lone piling other people’s feelings on top and trying to differentiate the two. And then the world got even uglier with the shootings in Uvalde. I threw myself into my work, and getting my vegetable garden planted, grounding myself through the dirt and planting seeds. A garden is a promise of the future, and as I planted mine, I hoped for a better future for all of us.

I look at the current state of things, and it seriously makes me not want to people, to just stay at home, mind my own business and just do me. Then I went to the house a few days ago to drop some things off, and it hit me. I wondered what Harriet and Robert would think of this world we live in now, and how they would react to it all. Then I realized, they DID live in this type of world. They too lived in a world filled with division and hate. They lived in a country that was on the verge of a Civil War.

They didn’t hide in their shell. They opened their home to those who needed refuge, and they continued to work to make the community a better place. How many would not have made it to freedom had they decided to retreat into a comfortable place and just block the ugliness of the world out and look the other way?

Evil will always exist, and it will always find a way. It’s up to us to do what we can to fight that. As the next caretaker of the old house, it’s my turn to stand up and do what I can to make sure that good outweighs the bad. When it comes right down to it, all of the blog stories or Facebook posts and comments in the world won’t change a thing. Keyboard warriors posting memes don’t make a difference. We all have a voice now thanks to social media. You can spread good or bad. It doesn’t matter. The only thing that will really make a difference is actually getting out there and DOING things to make the world a better place. For me, doing things means being there as a volunteer for my community and, although it may take much longer than first expected due to our current economy, turning this house into a place that will help lift others up.

There is a song that my friend Lee does that really hits home. It’s one of his slower songs, but the first time I heard it, I immediately thought of the Renwick House and it brought tears to my eyes.

There’s a house at the end of the road
It holds stories that no one else knows
Dreams, hopes and coal smoke
Looks like there’s nobody home
Now all is still
But the still’s so cold
Still got some songs in the walls
The love and the pain
Sunshine and rain
Overflowed
That house at the end of the road

The old house definitely still has some songs in the walls, and it’s time to get back to it and make them sing again.